Dear Asher…

I hope these words find you someday

It’s been years since I fell in love with you, and somehow, I’m not mad at myself for still smiling softly; softer than I ever smile; whenever you cross my mind.

In another life, we might have seen each other again by now, I wouldn’t be hanging on to the memories from the 2 weeks in summer camp together 5 years ago.

In another life, I might not be sitting on this bench alone, you’d be next to me, pointing out which ones are cumulus clouds and cirrus clouds; and when night falls, I’d show you the constellations, and tease you for knowing the different clouds and the difference between stalagmites and stalactites, but not being able to point out even the Big Dipper.

If things had played out differently, maybe I would trust myself to love someone else,

Maybe I’m silly, because I don’t even believe in soulmates, and I should have completely forgotten someone I met when I was 17, because there’s so much I might not truly know about you ; but that doesn’t stop me.

I want to know the things I don’t know, and I want you to feel that way about me too.

I wish this was just a glorified ‘what if?’

I wish meeting you didn’t feel like a warm hug, or a puzzle piece that fit just right;

But as I stare at the stars, wishing you were next to me; I know I love you.

I love who you were, I’m ready to love who you are, and I’ll always love who you’re going to be.

Love, Hannah.