Dear Eliana…

I hope this email finds you, someday

You’ve always talked about love like it’s as easy as breathing, and maybe it might be, if I had fallen in love with anyone else.

Maybe love would be easy if I wasn’t fascinated by how you’re somehow messy and organized at the same time.

Maybe love would be easy if I didn’t know your orders at every restaurant we go to like it’s my middle name.

Maybe love would be easy if I spent less time studying your facial expressions just so I could always tell when you’re upset and trying to hide it.

Maybe love would be easier if you weren’t always trying to be kind, especially when it’s hard.

Maybe love would be easier if you didn’t light up when someone talks to you about something they love.

Maybe love would be simple like you make it look, if you’d let people show it to you too.

Maybe one day, this email will leave my drafts, when I’m sure it won’t scare you away.

Maybe I’ll be ready to be selfish enough to tell you how I feel, even though you’ll probably run for the hills.

Maybe one day, I’ll stop pretending that I only want to be your friend; maybe I’ll admit that I want to be your person.

But for now, this stays with the emails I can’t send.

I’ll be there for every birthday so you know that you’re loved.

Every moment you think you’re too much, I’ll remind you that you’re not.

Every anxiety attack. Every frustrated tear.

Because I love you.

Even if it means I can only have some of you, I’ll be here, for as long as it takes.

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Inspired by a lot of things

I hope this doesn’t find you by Ann Liang

Emails I can’t send by Sabrina Carpenter

And maybe, just a little bit, a short story i was trying to write…